Life Is Bare Hilare!

Month

October 2012

1 post

Oct 23, 2012
#BBC #Jimmy Savile #Savile #Entwistle #Funny #funny pictures #funny caption #funny quotes #hilarious #joke #jokes of the day #British Broadcasting #television #Ryan Swain #Twitter #Headlines #News #Lol #pictures #captions #children #childrens tv #Pedophile #politics

July 2011

2 posts

Jul 6, 201136 notes
My Poetry

The beer flows and the succulent meat sizzles

The wind howls and the weather drizzles

Summer rain so humid vapours a hazy steam

There it stands in front of me, so delicate and pristine

I sit alone hearing family voices, they don’t even seem to care

Sitting back indulging, dissolving in to my grans arm chair

Embroidered with vintage grace that takes a step back in time

Furnished with historical presence that tells a story to sublime

My eye lids begin to drop, like the autumn leaves on trees

As I’m drift into a dream where I’m not with my own species

Surrounded in the foilage by prehistoric creatures

I peer through the leaves and see a group of preachers

Stood around a towering cross there’s a man impaled with distress

Sacrificed his soul for our sins in order to confess

The assertive Romans are the first to crusade

As the blood thirsty Vikings land on our shores, ready to inavde

The wise saxons settle, they are so powerful but short

As fickle Tudors betray each other and cavort

The guns light up the bloody fields of gold

The stories of the great wars still get shared and told

Heroes and villains it has always been the same

Under different circumstances with subject to change

I feel the touch of her exquisite kiss and it makes me come alive

She holds the key to my heart and I her warmth inside

I take her with me everywhere, deep inside my heart

How ever distant, no matter what nothing keeps us apart

I jump out of my skin as I’m struck with fascination

I’m travelling through my dreams of my vivid imagination

My delicious food digests as it rests inside my belly

I flick through the channels and theres Ben Hur on the telly

I’m sat back in this that has given me this projection

I’ll leave this for you to decided was it a dream or a perception? 

Jul 2, 201112 notes
#creative writing #poetry #poem #history #historical #summer #bbq #fun #funny #entertaining #reading #light reading #story #stories #english #perception #dreams #dreaming

June 2011

3 posts

Jun 20, 20113 notes
#Ryan Dunn #Jackass #RIP #Car Crash #CKY
Jun 13, 20112 notes
#Art #Modern Art #Pencil #Portrait #Steve-O #Jackass #Comedy #Funny #TV Shows #Yead Dude I Rock #Sketch #Drawing #Stephen Gilchrist Glover #Stunt Performer #American #Ryan Swain
“

Life is all about ass.

You’re either covering it, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it or behaving like one.

”
—
Jun 7, 201144 notes
#funny sayings #quotes #hilarious #comedy #true #philosophy #jokes #ass #life #kicking ass #comical #wor #wordplay #ryan swain

April 2011

1 post

Competing in the STREET FEST Mini Ramp Competition

image

Hey I have not blogged in ages so I thought I would share the excitement of my latest news. On the 29th May I will be contending against 19 other top Pro/Sponsored skateboarders from all over the UK at London’s Street Festival in Shorditch. The prize money is exceptional and the event looks magnificent.

I will be kicking out the vibes of my own original manuvouers combining style and charisma. Show casing my latest, complex mini ramp trickery. I am so overwhelmed that I have even made it into the final 20 to comepete on the day in London.  

I will keep you posted and up to date with all the days action and what happens!

Keep posted.

http://sidewalk.mpora.com/news/streetfest-mini-ramp-comp-returns-2011-details.html

Apr 30, 20113 notes
#Street Fest #Shorditch #London #Skateboarding #Urban Arts #Festival #Music #Live Perfomance #Extreme Sports #MTV #Graffiti #BBOI #Breakdancing #Urban Culture #Events

March 2011

6 posts

Play
Mar 21, 20111 note
#Skateboarding #Trailer #Yorkshire Scene #Ryan Swain #Frazer Harrison #Malton Skatepark
Contract phones!

Well It’s true what they say about fruit been good for constipation. I got my phone bill from Orange this morning and I literally shit myself!

Mar 21, 2011
#contract phones #Orange #Phone #Network #Comedy #Funny #Jokes Of The Day #Constipation #Phone Bills #Bill #Money #Debt #Ryan Swain
Mar 18, 2011
#Art #Portrait #Drawing #Ryan Swain #Chelsea
Mar 14, 20111 note
Mar 10, 2011
Mar 10, 2011

February 2011

17 posts

ADHD the poem on my life!

Through out my life I have always asked my self what it was wrong with me

Never saw it has as a problem but I have a deficiency 

Thats hyperactive, attention starving, constantly thinking things

My brain and body goes so fast im flying with out wings

Passionate, dedicated, i’m loyal to my smile

I was once proud to be like this, I thought it was worth while

Happiness is always in my heart, it never will be lost

The one thing in my life that is priceless to it’s cost

Channeled my energy into positive things helping others is my life

But now this vibe inside my soul is starting to cause me strife

But the more I look at myself I rapidly begin to see

I should be more relaxed and shouldn’t always think so deeply

As a kid i’d wonder off into the street and always dance and sing

Be complemented on my charisma and all the joys i’d bring.

But today its hit me and to the world I’ve now confessed

It’s time for change, I have had my fun from whom that it was blessed

I know that god can be the only judge of me

But i’d like to thank my girlfriend the only one for me

For she has made me see the light on what love is worth to me

Nothing will ever change the way I am or my personality

All i want is to be more relaxed and take things more casually

The class clown, never in between up and down was always making jokes

I’d have special people in my class and they’d be taking notes

I’m no coward not frightened of facing my fears

Big and strong with a heart of gold thats whats underneath my tears

To everyone that feels this way you should all be so proud

Don’t ever be ashamed to say it you should shout it out loud

You have something that others have yet to find

ADHD is not always bad it’s how you prospect it in your mind

If you ever want some help or advice please come and talk to me

Because i know what it’s like inside to live with ADHD. 

Feb 28, 20114 notes
#ADHD #ADD #Poem #Poems #Inspirational #My Life #Attention Deficit Hyperative Disorder #Medical #Mental Health #Motivational #Quotes #adhd #add #attention #hyperactive #real life #real stories
Top 007 'Q' Jokes

”Now pay attention 007; this looks like an ordinary suitcase but if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it.”

Now pay attention 007, this may look like an ordinary pen, but flip it upside down, and the woman’s clothes will fall off. 

Feb 28, 2011
#James Bond #007 #Q #Films/Movies #TV #Jokes #Comedy #Funny
Play
Feb 24, 20112 notes
#Catchphrase #Comedy #Funny #Gameshows #Gold #Hilarious #ITV #Masturbating #Mr Chips #Must See #Old TV Show #Roy Walker #Snake Charmer #saturday night
URBAN DICTIONARY...

Today I searched mine and my girlfriends names on this uber cool website i came across online called the urban dictionary. Everything it defines us to be is completely true lol especially our qualities & personalities: it’s immense! www.urbandictionary.com

Heres mine…

Ryan: a handsome man with determination and drive, a good sense of humor, easy going and carefree. Fun to be around, easy to talk to, never fake and full of optimism.He is a real ryan! He is not only hot, but a ryan is the best of both worlds!

My girlfriends…

Chelsea: The most amazing girl you’ll ever meet. A chelsea has the most beautiful and captivating eyes in the world and a smile that lights up the whole room. Its impossible not to love everything about a chelsea. The most gorgeous girl you will ever meet with the greatest personality you could ever hope for in a girl.”Every girl wants to be a chelsea, and every guy wants one.”

Where we are from…

York: York is quite a small town about 23 away from Leeds. All the uni students are complete nerds with posh accents. Apart from them its a mint place to live. Fucking full of tourists though.York is the perfect place to have a break because it is where they make Kit Kats. Pmsl!

Feb 19, 20112 notes
#urbandictionary #cool #definitions #our life #true #funny #comical #true to life #dictionarys
“The coffee i just had tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago” —
Feb 15, 20111 note
#funny quotes #comedy #coffee #ground #mud #jokes
Brit Awards 2011

Can somebody please point out to James Corden that being chubby does not instantly make you a comedian.

Feb 15, 20111 note
#Brit Awards 2011 #Funny #James Corden #Music #TV #Comedy
One of the best days of my life!

Happy Valentines Day people! it’s been a day for me I will never, ever forget, spent with my deliciously gorgeous girlfriend exchanging tokens of love, gifts and surprises with each other all day that we can look back on and cherish for the rest our lives! 14/2/2011 a scared memory I will treasure in my heart forever, today has been one of the best days of my life. I love you so much Chelsea! 

Viva The Moment - Ryan 

xxx

Feb 14, 2011
#valentines #my girlfriend #love #happiness #blog
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